@phoneboy That's what my coworkers said one time in the chat room after I got of a row of particularly annoying and incompetent customers.
All I said was that we should start offering Robert's Support Pack as an option. Basically it contains a paper, a pen, an envelope, a stamp, a shotgun, and two shotgun shells. The instructions would basically be: use the first four items to request assistance for your problem. If you are unable to do this, please use the last three items included in the package.